- If you read the title and were overcome with a burning desire to change the wording of ‘disabled person’.
Congratulations, step one is for you. There are many people across many of the disability communities who do not choose to use the word disabled person. They may choose to use person with a disability, or some variation of these two. The best practice is to ask. The best- best practice is to listen. When you hear a disabled person use their language of choice, you do not have permission to try and change it because you are uncomfortable. I have never, ever, I mean never, heard/seen/read any one identify as: special needs, differently abled, handicapped, handi-abled, humanly different, physically/mentally challenged, physically/mentally/learning difficulty, wheel-chair bound.
2. If you are feeling combative about number one right now ask yourself why.
The most used argument by abled people is that using person first language forces people to see the person not the disability. If you can not see the human, ask yourself why. If you can not see the human and the disability ask yourself why. You must see both. Trying to separate out the two things harms yourself and it harms the disabled person. A disabled person can not pick up and put down their disability whenever they feel like it. They can not leave it in a drawer when they want to go on vacation. Stop trying to put people’s disabilities away where no one can see them.
3. You are going to become disabled at some point in your life. Start getting right with that idea now.
Did you just try and skip over this one because you don’t believe me? Is it because your idea of disability looks narrow? It’s time to start changing what your ideas of disability looks like. Whatever it looks like in your head, you’re wrong. I know this because I, a disabled person, am wrong too. I am learning as much as I can all the time.
4. Do not assume the wild disabled person is going to be in a good mood.
We don’t have to be happy all the time. We sure as fuck don’t need to have a good attitude about our ‘situation’ to make you feel better about it. If you are upset that we have the entire range of feelings just like you, ask yourself why. Why are you surprised to find out that disabled people are exactly like you. My guess is, you are getting a glimpse of understanding that this could be your reality one day.
5. We already tried yoga.
Don’t give your disabled and/or chronically ill friends unsolicited advice. That’s a good way to get ‘accidentally’ run over with a power chair.
Treat disabled people like people. Would you want things done for you, or would you want someone to ask if you needed help first? Would you want someone to assume you can’t do things? Do you like being treated like a small child; talked down to; treated like you have no sense of the world; cannot preform tasks? If you are going out of your way to preform tasks for a disabled person they did not ask you to preform, do not be surprised if they do not act grateful. You may have just taken away some of their independence with your assumptions.
Ask, listen, learn.
